


Clarity

by Wara_Ningyo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wara_Ningyo/pseuds/Wara_Ningyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the relationship of humanity's strongest soldiers almost crumbled into pieces, they encountered an accident that strengthened their faith for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short story wherein Rivaille and Mikasa's tree-dimensional maneuver gears accidentally got tied up - but there is more than just a little reckless accident. This was inspired by Zedd feat. Foxes' Clarity.

**Fight fear for the selfish pain**   
**It was worth it every time**   
**Hold still right before we crash**   
**‘Cause we both know how this ends**

  
In an emergency battle in the dusk, several iron anchors once again attached through the crevices of the walls of the long-devastated buildings of Wall Maria as the Recon Corps tried to reinforce it again. This time, there was no turning back. This is their opportunity to take it back while the titans are at ease before everything else slips off their hands again.

  
The quantity of the troublesome monsters were fairly large but manageable, however, one single mistake could lead to multiple deaths since they were dealing with twelve-to-fifteen-meter class titans. Flaming abandoned houses, wood, and some scattered parchment were products of the burning sensation emanating from the decaying creatures after a struggle of life and death. Casualties were increasing albeit the decreasing number of the titans. The hope of humanity should keep their faith until this crucial yet short battle lasts.

  
Two of the humanity’s strongest warriors were hand-in-hand in dealing with the remaining five. Only a few more and they would be able to defeat them for the second time around. The rest of the Recon Corps soldiers were asked to retreat by Commander Irvin in order to tend to the injuries of one another. As much as he wouldn’t want to leave his comrades in this state of emergency, he has his faith on these two, considering their extraordinary physical abilities and precise movements.

  
They could possibly take down all in one swift movement, but unfortunately both of them were nearly brought to the sordid fate of getting devoured.

  
Levi nonchalantly took down two and while on his way to his third and the last titan standing as of the moment, Mikasa was also approaching it and they were both aiming at the nape on intersecting directions. Coincidentally, that particular one was also her last. Half of the left sheath of her 3D Maneuver Gear was suddenly bitten by it and one of the anchors accidentally pierced through his gas port, getting the cables of their gears tied up and taking both of them down to one of the already crushed and chaos-induced roofs. Their heads bumped at the sudden turn of events, but the corporal got a little fortunate for only experiencing a slight vertigo and regained his normal vision again. Even he, a soldier worth a whole battalion, didn’t even have a chance to grasp his operating mechanism immediately due to an inconsequential panic.

  
The corporal managed to keep his composure and prevented himself from hurting the unconscious female in his arms emotionally by cursing. She seemed to have a slight concussion when their heads collided. He wrapped his right arm protectively over her body before almost all of the cables wound around them. Good thing he caught her in a swift motion before they were looped together and fell down. Despite his small stature, he made sure to do his best to carry her. Both of them could have already been strangled by the cables or stabbed by their anchors but Levi immediately shifted his weight in order for them to land safely on a roof slightly concealed from their opponent’s line of sight. They looked like freshly-caught fish that were ready to be eaten raw by their colossal opponent, but he still managed to buy time. He didn’t want to blame her for one reckless accident. Instead, he focused on untying themselves before the remaining titan takes hold of them.

  
Still keeping calm but in a fast-paced heart-pounding motion, he reached out for a blade from Mikasa’s sheath with his bare left hand and despite the severe bleeding, managed to cut through the iron wires and freed themselves from each other, leaving behind the remnants of their malfunctioned equipment. Without thinking twice, he carried the frail figure over his shoulders again and jumped from roof to roof while getting away from the titan. He decided to rest first at the nearest building with a sole open window that could fit them. Despite his difficulty in carrying her, he still pushed both of their bodies through it with utmost caution. He could never afford to leave her behind and let her die. Even if he is worth a battalion and she was only dubbed worth a hundred soldiers, he could never afford to lose someone who is immeasurable. Not even an infinite number of excellent soldiers could replace someone who means the world to him. Hell, he didn’t even mind all the dust and pests lurking around as long as she is there with him, safe and her heart in normal beating.

  
As soon as they reached the interior of the building, he quickly removed his cloak and jacket. Their only light source was the moon that was illuminating the small space between the window and the room. Afterwards, he loosened his cravat and gently wiped off any debris from the porcelain skin of hers. Cleanliness is so damn important to him but this time he would be willing to even burrow himself underneath every shelf that could protect them. As soon as he finished wiping off dirt from Mikasa’s skin, he immediately disposed it off. He then ripped off a fairly large part of his shirt to make a bandage out of it to stop his left hand from bleeding, exposing his toned torso. A small smirk played on his face but shrugged it off because of the situation they’re in. What could be Mikasa’s reaction if ever she sees his body like this? Anyway, he’s still looking for any 3DMG scattered around but everything was plain and he sees no hope.

  
The ground shook and the heavy thud of the titan’s feet is fast approaching. Beads of sweat fell off his worn out face.

  
Was he nervous or scared? He might probably be but he doesn’t fear his own safety. He is afraid of what could happen between them if ever things turned out differently, if they could have been devoured earlier. It is not only their lives that would be in danger, but for the rest of humanity who looks up to them as their last resort. Unfortunately for their relationship, they really need to fight instead of offering themselves as livestock and they have to endure all imaginable kinds of pain that ever existed.  
Levi peeked through the cracked window of the dusty building and looked for 3D maneuver gears around the vicinity. Not minding the environment that they are in, Levi still chose to at least stay for a while and take a little time to fix Mikasa. He checked the pulse and through the silence, there is still hope for her breathing and heartbeat.  
He was so busy about thinking of possible strategies, checking Mikasa’s condition, and looking out for the titan that he didn’t notice the foul odor surrounding the room. There lay a bleeding soldier from the garrison, based on his uniform, with horrendous facial features beyond recognition. Levi assumed that this man shot himself due to anxiety. He had seen so much gore in his life that seeing this one is already normal for him.

  
And on its body was something that he was looking for.

  
He took a quick glance at the window and pulled Mikasa over his shoulders again before approaching the unfortunate cadaver. Levi calmly laid Mikasa beside him for a while and fixed the cadaver’s 3DMG on himself, ignoring the sticky sanguine fluid on the leather and running through his clothes and skin. Noticing the loudness of the stomping, he gave a final salute to the cadaver and covered it with his wings of freedom cloak.

  
Just in time, an enormous eye surprised him as he turned his gaze towards the window. He pulled over the still unconscious lady over his shoulders and ran down the stairs before the titan could break the whole building – or before another wave of its race comes back again.

  
When Levi pushed off the door, he shot the anchor at a neighboring roof and swung his way until he reached the titan’s back, careful not to injure the frail body over his shoulders. With one clean cut at the nape, everything seemed fine again, not to mention that the darkness outside had already consumed the whole neighborhood but the glint of glory in his eyes stood victorious.


	2. Remedy

After defeating the titans’ race for the second time around in the history of humanity, Levi fired a signal flare to inform the headquarters that both of them were safe.

Irvin was patiently monitoring the situation at the watchtower while the rest of the Recon corps tends to one another’s injuries. He saw the signal flare and immediately ordered Mike to relay the information. Some from the backup squad who are done aiding the others volunteered to safeguard the vicinity until the two reaches the fortress.

It was already dinnertime when Levi reported back to the headquarters with Mikasa. Due to their condition, Irvin commanded everyone not to interfere with them first but check if both of them were in good shape. This time, Mikasa was still unconscious but her skin has already regained some color, unlike when it was very pale at the duration of the battle. Her room was locked so he decided to set her down on his bed instead, cleaned her wounds, laid a damp cloth over her forehead, and looked for Hanji for assistance if ever everything that he did was done correctly.  Despite being one of the strongest among the survivors, he was still not confident enough to tend to Mikasa’s injuries. He’s more focused on battling rather than on giving medical assistance. Fortunately, Hanji was just walking along the corridors with a faint smile on her face and she told Levi that news had already spread that he and Mikasa are safe. She also had clean pieces of cloth draped over her forearm and a small box which served as a first aid kit on her hand.

The Major asked where Mikasa is, and he cocked his head towards his bedroom door. Without further interrogation or suspicion, she simply nodded in acknowledgement. However, she was shocked to see Levi in his current state - torn clothes, weary look, and awful smell. He reeks of dried blood and grime.

“Wouldn’t you like to wash up first, Levi? I was actually wondering how you survived a whole day with all that dirt on you.” She pointed out.

Levi raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s actually one of the reasons why I was looking for you. Please check on her while I wash up.”

Hanji nudged her elbow at the younger one and surprisingly, the latter opened the door for her. She thanked him for the kind gesture as she walked her way towards the bed, with Levi following behind.

“You really do care for her, don’t you? I mean…not only because she would be a great loss for humanity’s sake, but also for what you feel towards her.”

Levi simply nodded in response and requested Hanji to check if everything is fine with Mikasa while he remove the filthy maneuver gear on his body. Thinking about everything that happened and about the man who gave him hope, he did not even consider the aforementioned equipment as filthy as it is anymore. Even in its physical condition, he considered it clean and functional in its essence. He felt guilty when he left the man, but promised himself to give the latter proper burial and honorary rights.

“Hanji, please tell Commander Irvin that there was a lone decaying soldier at one of the buildings in the vicinity of Wall Maria. That man needs to be given proper burial and his family should be subsidized, if ever they are still surviving. Do everything to identify the corpse at all costs.”

“There was still someone left? But all bodies have already been recovered since then.”

“Yes, that man is a blessing in disguise and he deserves to have more than just a simple military burial. This 3D Maneuver gear over here belongs to him, and this is my way of expressing my gratitude towards him. Despite being physically dead, he still saved us from that lone titan.”

Hanji was astonished by the sudden change in Levi’s character, but she gladly acknowledged his request.

All his clothes and towels were already neatly set on his bedside table, so there’s no need to arrange them prior to bathing. It has been already a routine for him to prepare everything in advance – he’s not only a clean freak but a time conscious person as well. An almost perfect gentleman, that is.

The warm water ran down his tense body, and he recalled everything that happened. Despite returning safely with the woman he cares for, the anxiousness is still running through his veins. The battle is more than a near-death experience. It was hell with a miracle in disguise.

But before that happened, they had a misunderstanding. He had no idea whether Mikasa had already broken up with him during the battle, but even if she’s mad at him, he wouldn’t let her go. He would protect her at all costs, even if his life is at stake. Even if he is what they call humanity’s strongest.

Mikasa loudly knocked on Levi’s door in the middle of the night, tears flowing down her pallid face. The sudden noise woke him up astonished, but he immediately let her in. She ran over to him, and he assisted her to sit down at the edge of his bed. She was dangerously choking on her own words, and he assumed that she had a nightmare. He couldn’t understand anything from her muffled sobs, but she had been having nightmares and going to him since then – but this one is different. This might be more than just a mere nightmare. There could be a worse problem. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and whispered some French words that he taught into her ear to comfort her, but she wouldn’t stop. Fear struck him and he never let his arms go until she stops crying.

He reluctantly removed his arms and carefully ran his thumb over her eyes to wipe her tears. The painful look on her face kills him inside. He asked her what happened, but she just shook her head and she distanced herself away. The room was filled with silence and heavy breathing, but it eased him that she had already stopped crying.

When Levi couldn’t take it anymore, he asked her again what her problem is. She shot him a confused look then buried her face in her arms. Her silent whimpers start again, but this time he could now hear what she’s saying in between her sobs.

“I cannot continue this one anymore. They are judging us and even if you already know how hard it is, I’m still vulnerable. You know how emotional I am, despite being physically strong. Maybe you could keep a straight face and ignore their criticisms about us, but I’m different.”

Levi sighed. This has already been the nth time that she asked him to break up, but he wouldn’t give up. He kept on encouraging her to let everything pass but he couldn’t believe that she is now giving up.

“Mikasa, I – “

She cut him off, emphasizing his rank “I am done with your lectures, Corporal! Now shut –“ but Levi promptly inserted his rather harsh feedback.

He bit his lip and raised his voice at her with his usual stoic expression. “Will you please listen to me first, Ackerman?”

This was never the first time that she was given such a response. She would always hear him raising his voice to everyone, especially during her training days since they have always hated each other but everything changed when a blossoming relationship struck them. But this was the first time that he was enraged. He would usually keep calm but now he’s letting everything out. Mikasa turned her back and bowed her head, fingers trembling over his sheets.

Levi noticed this and apologized soon after for triggering even more her emotional breakdown.

He respected the walls that Mikasa built around them, and he walked over the window instead to enlighten Mikasa rather than what she thinks is lecturing.

“Mikasa, I am aware of how emotional you are deep inside but please stop calling yourself weak.” He paused to look at Mikasa and her expression has already softened.

“Everyone has a soft spot on themselves but it doesn’t make them weak. Surviving is what makes you strong, and that is why I chose to stay with you no matter what. That is why I never gave up on you. That is why I – that is why I love you, Mikasa.”

He paused to see Mikasa wide-eyed, despite her bangs partially covering her face.

“I didn’t love you because you need someone to help you, I am here because I want to make you feel special and to stop thinking about how unworthy you think about yourself. I was very self-centered before but when I realized how fortunate I am to have you in my life, I started to value not only you but also all the people who need our help more than my own life.”

When she was about to say something, the emergency bell rang and even if both of them were naturally calm, they still had doubts of continuing their conversation or rushing outside to see what happened. What if it was just a false alarm?

But even though he was able to catch Mikasa’s arm as she swiftly ran towards the door, she just removed his arm and moved out of his room like nothing happened. She kept a straight face as she went out, but he wasn’t sure if she was enlightened about everything that he told her. He wasn’t sure if Mikasa is still breaking up with him or if she could still hold on to their relationship.

Irvin called out everyone at the courtyard for an emergency meeting. He gave everyone a forty-five minute strict curfew for bathing, preparing, and eating breakfast on their own before the infiltration starts.

Everybody was flabbergasted about the sudden turn of events but Levi chose to stay focused with the plan in order to execute his duties flawlessly later on but he couldn’t find Mikasa in the crowd. He just looked up in the sky and hoped that nothing awful would happen to her.

And it happened.

He was relieved to have her right now but he still needs Hanji’s confirmation. What if her condition worsens? He shook off all of his thoughts and resumed cleaning himself until Hanji knocks on his bathroom door.

In a sing-song voice, she said “She’s awake now and all right, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Levi hurriedly dried himself and put on his regular military clothes but he didn’t bother tying up his cravat yet. Even though he’s wearing it practically every day, it still takes a long time for him to perfectly smooth out the white fabric.

He went out to see Mikasa still with a sad expression on her face while looking straight at Levi’s eyes. They stared at each other for a moment without saying anything until Hanji faked a cough.

“Excuse me, but I think you two should fix something that needs to be resolved soon.”

Levi stuttered in between while asking Mikasa’s condition. “But wait, is she alright? Is her head in normal condition? Does she - ?”

Mikasa couldn’t help but lightly giggle at Levi’s reaction. “Yes, I am perfectly fine.”

Levi was relieved to see her in good condition but he still needs to apologize for everything, and he still needs to confirm whether Mikasa is still on with him on how much they could fight for each other despite what the others are thinking. He saluted to Hanji and thanked her for taking care of Mikasa during his absence.

“Just so you know, she’s been awake for quite a long time already, and she’s just pretending to be unconscious so that she could know what your reaction would be.” She unwound the bandage around her head. “She didn’t even need this one anymore.”

Mikasa, wide-eyed, spat at her “You!”

“We discreetly went out of your room and as you can see, she’s now perfectly clean and had a relaxing bath at her own room.” Her tone was sarcastic as she continued.

Mikasa’s cheeks flushed a slight tinge of rose but still managed to growl at the smirking woman. “Major Hanji! Stop lying!”

Hanji ignored her as if she didn’t say anything and asked Levi if he would like their late dinner to be served in his room.

“No, thank you. This is more than enough.”

“Alright, see you then. Good luck, Mikasa!”

Hanji gave a goofy look to both of them before leaving the room.


	3. Insanity

Levi clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Tch. Do you know how hard it is for me to carry you all the way here? How long have you been awake? You deceived me, Mikasa.”

There was so much intensity in the way her name rolled out of his mouth. It was different from how the others would call her, and the last time that they talked, they called each other by rank and last name.

Mikasa was embarrassed but slightly relieved at Levi’s apparent joke. “So you regret bringing me here?” she asked innocently as if she doesn’t know how much she means to Levi.

Levi casually walked towards his bed and sat beside her. “You know…” he locked his uninjured fingers with her. “I’m very happy that you’re here with me, safe and most of all – alive.”

Mikasa looked down at the sheets. She felt guilty when she first saw his injured hand and the picture of her approaching the titan’s nape at the same angle replayed on her mind. However, she didn’t know where Levi got the cut on his other hand.

She avoided asking him where he got it and made an excuse about Hanji’s remarks instead. “About Hanji…”

“I noticed that you were already awake when I heard your footsteps as soon as I got inside the bathroom. But its okay, what’s important is that we’re together now.” He said this in his usual stoic expression, but there was something in him that he is holding on to. There was something lodged in his throat and he didn’t want to burst out into tears. He’s keeping himself from crying. This would be the first time that Mikasa would see him in that situation.

Mikasa tightened her grip around Levi’s hand and leaned on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for being so reckless.”

“It’s not your fault. I am the one who’s supposed to apologize here, remember?”

And the tears started to roll down his face.

Mikasa shifted her head away to look at his face but he immediately wiped it off…then he just buried his face in his arms as he continued sobbing.

She was stunned to see a vulnerable Levi in front of her. It was the Lance Corporal showing his soft side to her.

“Why are you…?”

She gently patted his back but didn’t mutter a word. Everything that happened before has now reversed. She is now the one comforting Levi.

When Levi finally silenced, he wiped his eyes with the crumpled cravat on his pocket that he didn’t bother tying earlier.

“I’m sorry Mikasa. I just couldn’t imagine myself fighting without you. I am just more than satisfied to be here with you. Just the times when you asked me to break up gives me so much pain, what more if we both died earlier?”

“Corporal…I…”

“Mikasa”

“Levi, I listened to everything that you said before. I was just too surprised to know how much you think about me and how strong your feelings are. I have decided not to listen to what others think about us anymore. You are just one of the people that I value the most and just like…”

“It’s okay, go on.”

“Just like Eren, you saved my life. But you are the one who treated me differently – in a good way. And I learned not only to value myself, but to love myself even more because of you.” She continued. “And I thank you for being patient in dealing with someone like me.”

Levi turned to fix his eyes on her dangerously beautiful ones. “So are we…?”

“Levi, for everything that you have done to me and for being honest with your feelings, do you think I won’t be able to fall into you as much as you do to me?”

He simply looked down.

“I was afraid of losing you, Mikasa. You are someone that is worth fighting for, other than being a hero for humanity.”

She lifted his head so that they could melt in each other’s gazes.

“Levi, we are in this together. And if we could only wipe off this world away from them and keep all the people away from harm, maybe the walls aren’t that necessary anymore.”

Levi inched his face closer to Mikasa’s, their foreheads touching. “And all the people against us have nothing to do with it.”

Mikasa gulped. “I understand.”

“We are humanity’s last hope, and we need to survive…until all the dirt in this world has been removed.” He whispered, his breath barely brushing against her lips. “And all that’s once lost has been replenished.” He closed his eyes and moved his face away to look at her face one more time.

And her face was obviously flushed with color and her eyes are dilated.

“Mikasa…would you stay by my side no matter what?”

She pulled a new cravat out of his bedside table’s drawer and smoothly knotted it around his neck. “Even if we die together in the most tragic way, I would be satisfied if everyone will be safe from those monsters that ripped us off our freedom.” She awkwardly whispered into his ear, trying to hide her blush but it’s becoming too obvious to Levi.

Levi smirked at her. “Your voice is shaking.”

Despite being together for almost half a year already, Mikasa still sometimes show shyness to Levi. Sometimes, she’s daring but most of the time she’s still showing signs of shyness – and they still haven’t done something intimate that is common between lovers.

Levi put on a straight face as he called on to her. “Oy, Mikasa.”

She gaped at him. “Huh?”

“I have a gift for you. Don’t be nervous, okay?” He asked in a monotonous manner. “Do you prefer to be surprised with your eyes closed or with your eyes open?”

Why all of a sudden? She thought to herself.

“I…uh…maybe I should see what it is?” she said, while covering both sides of her face to keep herself from blushing. The blood circulating around her cheeks is becoming warmer as Levi gently removed her hands away from her face.

“Don’t…move unless you have to…do something else other than…what will happen.” With that, he cupped Mikasa’s face and gently brushed his lips against hers.

Mikasa was tensed at first but eventually relaxed as she wrapped her arms around Levi’s neck, pressing her lips further.  Without breaking their locked lips, Mikasa laid down the bed and Levi followed. She pulled on his cravat, ran a hand over his hair, and he muttered some French words in between hot pecks on her skin. The intensity building up is becoming higher and their breathing becomes heavier – until a knock on the door interrupted their passionate moment together. Levi reluctantly pulled away and answered the door, momentarily leaving the blushing woman on his bed.

The soldier greeted Levi with a salute, and the former acknowledged it promptly.

“Good evening, Captain. The commander has ordered me to direct you and Miss Ackerman to his office now, in preparation for your honorary rights as well as for your request about the military burial rights to the afflicted soldier seen in the battlefield. The body was identified as Artwaigner Somersault and he only has a younger brother as stated.”

“Thank you, please tell the commander that we will be preparing ourselves first and will follow before the midnight shift of the others. I assume that it would only take a few minutes.”

“Sir, noted, sir.” The soldier also noticed how messy his hair and how awful his cravat looks but didn’t bother to ask the corporal due to fear.

“Anything else, soldier?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

The soldier gulped. "None, sir."

“Okay then. Resume your duties.”

They exchanged salutes before the soldier leaves.

He locked the door and proceeded to entice Mikasa again. “How’s that for our first kiss, Mikasa?” he breathed against her lips.

“You know what? You may be short but…terribly…gorgeous.”

Levi smirked and stood up straight.

“Come on, Mikasa. We still have a meeting to attend to. Don’t worry, we will resume this one later.” She couldn’t keep the blush on her face away.

Mikasa reached out for another cravat and replaced the one on his neck. “How about your hair?” she asked.

“It looks better this way, but please fix yours.”

Mikasa reached out for a comb, fixed her hair, and held on to Levi’s uninjured hand as they walked together along the corridors.

“From now on, we would be together and no matter what they say, I will fight for what we stand up for.” He said to Mikasa under the reflection of the moon.


End file.
